Monday, May 29, 2017

"It wasn’t so much that she was prattling, saying just anything that came into her head; rather, that she was trying to express things that seemed to her interesting, or that might have been interesting if she could get them into shape. But they probably sounded pretentious, if not insane, rattled off in the way she was doing. She must seem like one of those women who are determined not to have an ordinary conversation but a real one. And even though she knew that nothing was working, that her talk must seem to him an imposition, she was unable to stop herself."

Saturday, May 6, 2017

20 days without a smartphone - Day 11

Number of times I could've used a smartphone: 2
1. Music during the six-hour drive to La Union
2. Social media updating because it's sooooo beautiful here

I survived because: I need to stick to this!

I miss: Real-time updating because the urge to do it today surfaced a couple of times.

Today's takeaway: I am annoyed by how I was itching to get to my laptop so I can post photos from this weekend trip. (Decided not to yet.)

Other notes: 
I realized that wanting to update real-time, or simply the act of posting on social media could be an ego thing. Maybe I would Snap or post on IG Stories a lot because I want to show others how cool the place I'm in is, or what a grand time I'm having.

But if I really was having a grand time, shouldn't I just be there in the moment? Wouldn't staying there, not thinking of what caption to post or who would like my entry, allow me to live it in all its grandeur, and perhaps enjoy it even more? It makes me think if I've wasted so many moments before, or if I was only physically there but my mind was already wandering to the virtual world. Have I desecrated memories by seeing them through my phone camera's lens?

I love sharing photos and moments with others because maybe they'll get ideas about places to go to and activities to do. I'm just so scared that the practice has been stained with a bit of arrogance and has deprived me of a full experience.

20 days without a smartphone - Day 10

Number of times I could've used a smartphone: Again, didn't think about it.

I miss: Took a while before I got to ride a jeep this morning so yup, you know what I miss. But I declined Daddy's offer to book me an Uber or bring me to the MRT station so plus points for me!

Today's takeaway: Breezing through this at this point!

Other notes: 
1. I attended a meeting with other department reps earlier. While waiting for everyone to arrive, those present weren't talking to each other because they were all on their phones. If I had a smartphone then, I would've probably been mindlessly scrolling too. On that note, I'd like to apologize if there had been anyone I offended because I was hooked to my little screen rather than conversing with you.
2. Going on a six-hour road trip later! No Spotify and social media. Wish me luck.

Friday, May 5, 2017

20 days without a smartphone - Day 9

Number of times I could've used a smartphone: I had dinner out so Uber to and from would've been my means.

I survived because: I took a cab. I honestly was scared at first because I haven't ridden one in a while. Thank God the drivers were nice and I gave them brownies so they'll think I'm nice. Haha!

I miss: U know it beshies + camera!!! During meals out with friends the pass week, I'd usually ask them if we could take photos of us using their phones. I realized that's cheating so I wouldn't ask anymore moving forward. Thus, no photo during dinner!

Today's takeaway: No need for anyone's affirmation. I'm doing this to identify and assess what works for me and what doesn't so whoever feels like they have to adjust to reach me may stop reaching me completely.

Other notes: I get weird glances in public places. I'm not sure if it's because of my noisy keypad or because of my low-tech phone. (Or maybe they like one for themselves 'cause it's so cute?!)

20 days without a smartphone - Day 8

Number of times I could've used a smartphone today: Aside from Uber, didn't really think about it.

I miss: Not being updated with things real-time. Since I got into this job, social media monitoring is required for our entire day's duty, and sometimes even beyond it. Today, a senator of my country insulted single moms and I was incredibly disgusted. More than what he said, it was appalling to hear people laugh at what he said and read comments of people defending him. Sickening. I hate that part of social media where you get to see how shallow, close-minded and tasteless others can be.

Today's takeaway: Balance is key. If I didn't go on social media that day, I wouldn't know of the former janitor who passed the bar. That was such an uplifting news story and it's because of bits like that why I know I can't quit social media entirely.

Other notes: This entry might be a bit confusing to whoever is reading this. Let me just note that one of my motivations for the smartphone fast is to be on social media less. I feel like I've developed unhealthy habits and wasted a lot of time on it. I'm trying to change my perception so I can utilize the platform.